Fish Two Ways

I just ate "Fish Two Ways."

What the hell is that? Red snapper and haddock, marinated in Soy Vay Veri Veri Teriyaki sauce and grilled, with a side of fresh green beans, sauteed in olive oil and garlic.

It's Wednesday again, and we all know what that means: I'll be enjoying a new episode of Top Chef after surrendering my kitchen to Cassie and Carl.

On last week's Top Chef, one of our favorite contestants, Kenny Gilbert, was told to pack his knives and hit the bricks. Fans of the show will remember that, for better or worse, Kenny was fond of preparing and presenting his Quickfire Challenge foods "two ways" or, highlighting the main ingredient in two separate dishes. A relatable example of a food served two ways might be a platter containing a pile of Oreos slathered in extra crunchy peanut butter and a scoop of chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream atop a bed of crushed Oreos. (Man, I would gladly pack my freaking knives and go home if I could make - and eat - "Oreos Two Ways" on Top Chef!)

My in-house chefs decided to honor Kenny by naming this dish "Fish Two Ways," even though it was two kinds of fish prepared the same way and not one type of fish cooked in two different recipes. Carl put fish on tonight's menu because he recently remembered that he hadn't used his ridiculous, fish-shaped grill basket since he bought it three years ago.

Why did I eat this? The meal was great and went off without a hitch - no bickering between the chefs and virtually no questions for me! Fish is not my favorite, but the haddock was delish. It was more flaky and less fishy-tasting than the snapper. The snapper, however, had a thicker texture (similar to salmon, as Carl noted) and was also quite tasty. Even the green beans were good, despite being abandoned on the stove for several minutes while the chefs tended to the fish outside. I wasn't able to finish my serving of snapper, and a small scuffle ensued when both Cassie and Carl tried to claim it.

Thanks again to my beloved chefs! Not having to cook tonight was a huge relief! And chefs: If you're considering recipes for next week, may I suggest the delectable "Oreos Two Ways"? It could be your culinary pièce de résistance!

As this lame photo demonstrates, Kate Just Ate has suffered a devastating photographic setback! I can't seem to get a decent shot from our digital camera. The pictures look fine on the camera, but when I upload them to the computer, they're blurry. At that point, it's too late to reshoot the food because I've already eaten it. Hopefully, we'll be able to figure out what's wrong with the camera and resume regular posts soon, but I can't make any promises, Christy. Somehow, I just don't have the motivation to write about what I ate if I don't have a decent photo to share.

Satisfaction rating: 8

UPDATE: Top Chef contestant Kevin Sbraga made bacon three ways for tonight's Quickfire Challenge. Bacon! Three ways! That's madness!

Asian Beef Skewers

I just ate Asian beef skewers.

What the hell is that? Delicious strips of flank steak, soaked in a fairly easy homemade marinade, threaded onto bamboo skewers, and grilled. I discovered that the key to this dish is slicing the flank steak against the grain of the meat. Doing so cuts the fat that runs through the beef and ensures tender meat, no matter how long you cook it.

Why did I eat this? I prepared a double batch of these appetizers for a potluck dinner party a couple of weeks ago and they were a big hit, so I decided to make them again for our house guest, Alex, a friend and grilled meat aficionado visiting from Seattle, WA.

Alex, an aspiring East Coast slum lord, is in town for a few days to make repairs at his rental property in nearby Media, PA. While serving last night's meal of beef skewers, grilled asparagus, and mashed potatoes, I informed our friend that he could expect increasingly less ambitious meals as the week progressed. We'll be ordering pizza by Wednesday and Thursday's dinner is likely to consist of cold cereal and toast.

The fact that this meal even made it to the table was something of a miracle. I had spent the better part of the afternoon trying to corral a hemorrhaging puppy, wounded after I clipped one of his nails too short. We had him sequestered in the office so he wouldn't bleed all over the house, but when Ellie grew tired of sitting with him, I took the pup outside and tied his leash to a chair while I grilled. We finally contained the mess by placing a tissue over his toes and covering it with a plastic sandwich bag, secured to his leg with a hair band. (And, yes, he's fine now - no need to contact PETA!)

Satisfaction rating: 9*

* This dish could have been a 10, but I was preoccupied with making sure the dog didn't gnaw the bag off of his foot.