I just ate Fruit Chew TXT MSG Candy.What the hell is that? These fruit-flavored gummy bites--imprinted with emoticons and text message phrases, such as l8r, lol, qt, btw, and : ) - are sort of like gummy conversation hearts. A large box of Fruit Chew TXT MSG Candy was included in a package I received from my friend, Christy.
As some of you know, Christy recently visited 1st Oriental Market, one of the largest Asian markets in Orlando, Florida. She shared highlights of her trip in a Facebook photo album entitled What Kate Mighta Ate. While the album's title seemed harmless, the description made Christy's intentions clear: She was on a quest to find food--bizarre food--for me to eat and write about here. An Orlando courier was dispatched a day after her outing, and Priority Mail from Florida soon arrived at my doorstep.
After viewing Christy's photos, I was a more than a little nervous about what she might send. She has a wonderful sense of humor, however, so I knew it would be something silly, maybe a bag of crackers with a goofy logo or some fish-flavored candy. I opened the 20-pound package and realized immediately that I had grossly underestimated Christy's dedication to this project. The box was packed with all kinds of crazy Asian food items: crispy wafer rolls, mixed bean crackers (with dried anchovies), a can of peanuts with soup, cashew nut crisp, rice candy, chewy taffy with a peanut butter center, duck-flavored noodles, a can of seasoned cockles (?), aloe vera dessert (?!), "Wee Glee Gum," and more. The print on many of the labels is in Chinese, so there's really no telling what's inside!
Why did I eat this? The picture on the Fruit Chew TXT MSG Candy box looked like something I might not hate and the ingredient list, printed in English, gave no indication that the candy would kill me. (I don't know what cockles are, but they definitely sound like a substance that could be toxic if cooked improperly.) Plus, Cassie and Ellie, lovers of all things gummy, were dying to try it. The candy was very fresh and soft when we opened the box. Ellie, our resident fruitarian, loved it; Cassie responded with a noncommittal shrug and admitted that she really only wanted to play with the text message phrases. I ate a few and thought they were okay, but I really don't care for gummy candy. It was difficult to discern any difference in the flavor of each color; it all had a vague citrus taste.
I've decided that the best way to conquer this box of peculiar food is to start with the most innocuous-looking items and work my way down. Much more food from Christy to come, but don't expect a seasoned cockles post anytime soon!
Satisfaction rating: 1
Full disclosure: A few items - including the text message gummies, the Wee Glee gum, the wafer rolls and the uniquely-named chewy candy bars (I won't give away the names here - that's half the fun) - were purchased at World Market. World Market ranks right up there with Target and Michaels as one of my favorite places to shop. (Which is why I limit my visits to World Market.) But if you're looking for European chocolate, Vegemite or a small but eclectic selection of spices, World Market is your place...
ReplyDeletePS: I $ TXT MSG can-D w/ C&E n mind. Score 1 4 me.
ReplyDeletePPS: Cockles aren't squid, for heaven's sake. They're just small saltwater clams. And they play a starring role in the nursery rhyme, "Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary," which I recited over and over in my head from the time I put them into the cart until we hit the check-out line...
ReplyDeletePPPS: Who the hell doesn't "care for" gummy candy? I would LIVE on gummy berries (the ones covered with the crunchy nonpareils) and Sour Patch Kids if it were humanly possible...
ReplyDeleteTo each his own, Christy. I'm a chocolate fiend; gummy just doesn't do it for me.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, your instincts were right about the girls liking that candy. Ellie was furious when I told that she couldn't more until I photographed it!
ReplyDeleteUgh, and gummy berries with nonpareils? ARE YOU SERIOUS?? If there's one thing I like less than gummy, it's freaking nonpareils! I can't think of anything that ruins candy more thoroughly than nonpareils. As far as I'm concerned, Sno-Caps are the single biggest waste of perfectly good chocolate!
ReplyDeleteWow! Whats your beef with nonpareils?? I, too, am a chocolate fiend and tend to prefer all manner of dark chocolate, including the dreaded nonpareils. This is fun, as long as I don't have to commit to eating anything unfamiliar...I'll live vicariously through you Kate!
ReplyDeleteHello, my dude. Sorry to disappoint, but if you had bothered to read the subtitle or "About" section of this site, you would know that it's a personal humor blog, not a food/product review website. Also: I wrote this post in 2010, NINE YEARS before you even saw it. It's been more than two years since you commented, but I sincerely hope you found the valuable insight into Fruit Chew TXT MSG Candy you were looking for.
ReplyDelete